A few years ago my stepson and I were talking and he said, “If I could build anything, do you know what it would be?” “What?” I asked, intrigued because he is always coming up with creative new inventions. “A time machine so I could go back in time to when my mom and dad met and fix things.”
He paused and I kept quiet. “But then, I wouldn’t have met you,” he said. And we talked about how you can be happy and sad about the very same thing at the same time. Read more
That my first family fell apart. Even though I feel included and loved by them, I am still outside. So, stepmoms, remember: Kids need their dads. Foster that relationship. Help make it strong, and everyone in the stepfamily will be better for it. You’re not the only one who feels like an outsider.
Even if you never have an “ours” baby, you and your stepchildren’s Read more
I’m just this other daughter. He’s a great dad. He just stopped being so involved in my life. His sole focus was on the little kids.” Brooke watched her father become a different man from who he was when she was a child. It hurt her to see him become an active father—even though she loves her little brother and sister—because he didn’t do the same for her when she was little. A new baby can at the same time bond a family and bring up challenging feelings for the children. Read more
Kids’ fears about losing time with a parent when a baby is born are not without foundation. Susan D. Stewart, a researcher at the University of Iowa, published a study entitled “How the Birth of a Child Affects Involvement with Stepchildren” in the May 2005 issue of Journal of Marriage and Family.
Stewart found that a new baby can reduce the amount of involvement the parents and stepparents have in the lives of their children from previous marriages, so having an Read more
That’s a common thing for kids to go through, so the parents have to say, ‘I have enough love for you, for this baby, for everybody in our family.’ Kids need to be secure in that area.” Take note. It doesn’t matter what age the children are when you add a new baby to the family.
They will still need to work through the emotions it evokes, such as fear, Read more