If no, then you can say, “Well, I hope you feel better. In the meantime, could you please take your stuff upstairs?” If he sasses, you respond again with kindness: “I’m sorry you’re not feeling well, but we still have to follow the house rules. Please pick up your stuff and take it to your room. Then I’d love to know if there’s anything I can do to help.”
(If you intend to enforce that the common areas are clutter-free, then this will have to be on the list of house rules your husband presents to the kids.) Keep responding with kindness and you will defuse the situation.
• Meditate. Pray. Chant. Visualize. Whatever your spiritual practice is, do it. Meditate every morning about the stepfamily you wish to create. Pray with gratitude for all the wonderful lessons these people are teaching you. Choose to view these people as conduits for your personal growth. Choose to see them as conduits to your faith.
• Decide to have a positive impact. Depending on your actions in every moment, you can either have a positive or negative effect on the people around you. So take responsibility. You decide. You choose. You act.