First, the kids complained, which, as every parent and stepparent knows, they all do. Second, I got mad. Third, my husband became supersensitive to my mood and got angry at the kids. Fourth, the kids picked up on the bad vibes and acted out even more, which put us back where we started, because I got mad again.
You get the picture. What if I had asked myself in positive language what I hoped to be able to achieve with my stepfamily when my feelings get ruffled? What if I had considered my big-picture dreams and goals, so they influenced how I responded to my stepchildren? Here’s how the scenario could have been reversed to maintain the harmony that is important to me.
First, the kids complain. Second, I realize it is not a personal attack because all kids complain about food. Third, I do something positive. I laugh and say, “Too bad for you guys, good for the rest of us who like it. We get more!” Fourth, my husband laughs.
Fifth, I ask all the kids to name their favorite meals and ask who wants to help prepare their favorite tomorrow. Sixth, we finish dinner, do the dishes, and happily go about the rest of our night. That sounds like a lot more fun. Next time, that’s going to be my action plan.