If you met your husband after you’ve already made the decision not to have a baby, don’t be surprised if you still feel grief or resentment about it later on. Before Mary met Pat and his five children, she was divorced from another man with whom she did not have any kids. “I never really had the burning desire to have children, like some people.
When I got divorced I was about 30 and I had already decided it was better to not be married and not have kids than be married and unhappy.” Yet the decision still haunted her. She dated her current husband for eleven years before they married.
“There was a point in our relationship where I had a little bit of resentment and anger about not having my own baby. At first when we were still dating, my husband said, ‘Yeah, we could have kids.’ Then later he said, ‘What am I thinking? No, I can’t have another child. It’s too much.’ I resented him for that.” Gretchen had a similar reaction.