You will feel different about your own children than you do about your stepchildren. How could you not? As much as you come to love your stepchildren, they are still someone else’s kids. When you have a baby of your own, you’ll feel different, and that’s just the way it is.
So why whip yourself into a frenzy of guilt? Why not just accept that fact and then do the best job you can to foster a connection between your child and her half-siblings, and make things feel as fair as you can to the kids?
Lauren is a doctor who has three stepsons and later had three sons with her husband. “When I had my own children I was able to really see the difference between unconditional love and the more conditional love we stepmoms struggle with.