Eleanor has two stepsons and an “ours” son with her husband. “We have always raised them as brothers,” she says. The older two boys are 16 and 21 and the youngest son is 7. “There is no sibling rivalry. They protect each other.
There’s such an age difference, there’s no competition. Even now that the oldest is in college, he’ll make sure he can make it to his little brother’s birthday party.” Eleanor’s son thinks the world of his older brothers.
“He thinks they hung the moon. He’s in first grade and he’s got a brother who drives and another in college. My stepsons have been so loving with him since the beginning. If anything, I’m the one who’s hard on my son, because he’s mine. But he enhanced our family. He made it even more whole.”
Will a new baby make your stepfamily better? It depends. How well can you communicate with your husband and stepchildren? How fair can you be? Can you get out of the way and let your stepchildren develop relationships with your children?
Just like all of the other issues stepfamilies have to deal with, the more flexible and creative you can be, the more your stepfamily will thrive.