That my first family fell apart. Even though I feel included and loved by them, I am still outside. So, stepmoms, remember: Kids need their dads. Foster that relationship. Help make it strong, and everyone in the stepfamily will be better for it. You’re not the only one who feels like an outsider.
Even if you never have an “ours” baby, you and your stepchildren’s father have formed a new family that excludes the kids to some degree, no matter how nice you are to them or how much they love you. Go easy on them.
Try to understand what it must be like from their point of view. I don’t know how my stepchildren will react if their dad and I decide to have a child together, but I do know they feel both happy and sad that I’m in their lives at all.