Remember back to when you were a cool single gal and you went to visit your friends with kids to get a “baby fix”? I know when I played with my friends’ babies it was always fun, but I was glad to go home and leave the kids behind with their parents. Stepmotherhood is an extended stay with other people’s kids.
And you get more than your fix. In fact, it’s very common for stepmothers to reconsider whether or not they want children of their own after living with stepchildren. “It was hard because my stepchildren were five and nine when we met and I had never been around smaller children like that.
It made me think that I wasn’t sure I wanted kids of my own. It was such a shock. Your personal space is so violated,” says Darcy, who did end up having two children with her husband. “People always said, ‘You knew what you were getting into,’ but I didn’t. How could I?”